This is Personal Today

 TO MY LOVE...

In a few hours, today I will bury one of the loves of my life. It is time to say goodbye until tomorrow at Jesus feet. Whether it was me, a fresh JJC (new arrival) in America. Or me, the young lady struggling to find my way in love matters. Or me, the grown woman navigating life, career, marriage, decisions, grown folks issues and the complexities of life. You were there. 

From the days when you came to my room bearing armful of your own sweater collection, some had the Nordstrom tags still on it, the most gorgeous men sweaters, to shield me from the cold. I wore them happily. You literally gave me the shirt off your back. You would pick me up from everywhere at night so I would not have to travel on bus and train. You constantly told me, "Duarma, I don't want you to suffer in this country". I write this crying my heart out for the last time. My dearest darling cousin. You made family seem like the easiest, most perfect bond. You were so so good at it. You were absolutely great at it. The gem our family was blessed to own. You were one of a kind. I summed it up by naming you "Cou Sin". It was simply cousin with exhilarating emphasis on the second syllable. You are irreplaceable. You were unique. You loved well. Gabriel!

Last night, talking with my mom, your Cousin Janetta, she reminded me how you would send warm socks for Bigma's feet, whenever you were sending Cousin Jerusha parcels. A young student in America, no doubt struggling to make it, you would think of your Aunt Texxy. The stories are endless. What is most astounding is that everyone, your relatives on all sides, have the same, multiple stories of love. Imperfect as we all are, you and us, you showed us all what perfect love should look like. Our gratitude is forever. We will carry on your legacy of love. You see, Cou Sin, you did exactly what they modeled for us. Bigma and her loved bunch of siblings. Uncle John (Dewalt), Uncle Borbor (Blackett), Uncle Cousin Bro Charles (Nance), Aunty Sister Babygirl (Nance-Ezeagu), Uncle Bor Archibald (Nance), and the youngest of these first cousins-siblings, Cousin Jerusha (Blackett). They left us a model to follow. Bigma, the eldest of them, proclaimed that love is the way. She said in her family there are no first cousins but brothers and sisters. She decreed love and love above every thing else. She taught them to be responsible for one another, and what's for one is for all. They lived it out for us all to see. And Junior, Cousin Jerusha's son, was the epitome of the legacy this awesome group of ancestors left for us to model.

Gabriel has left us. My own self Cou Sin. I wipe my tears now. I thank God for the cousin he blessed our family with. A relative like none other. Cousin Jerusha need our prayers. We will cover her.

Cou Sin. I'm nursing a broken foot, but you know it's not stopping me. In a few hours I will hop down to Washington, D.C. to the church and see you off. We will sing Aunty's song, "Trust and Obey" and send my great-grand aunt Agnes Blackett grandson back to her, trusting and obeying God's word that love conquers everything, even death! My little heart is broken in pieces.

I remember everything you've been to me, Gabriel. I know how you loved me from start to finish. You loved me like a brother loves a little sister. I know. You made sure I did not suffer in America. The stories of your intervention to see me survive and thrive in this country are too many for paper. I made it because you were there to steer me and show me how. Thank you. I am glad you knew how much I loved you and how much you meant to me.

Gabriel Reginald Duncan. I love you. I will always love you.

Martu, Cousin Jerusha, Nester, Jimmy, Texanna, Tatyana, Alexus... God will bring solace in this grief. We all love you. We are here. Gabriel's legacy is love. This is what we celebrate most.

Cou Sin. Let me quickly finish getting ready. I can just hear you saying, "you girl you ain't ready yet!" And you would laugh and patiently wait for me. They call it Gabriel love and I know all about it. Sleep on my darling... I will always love you. Even death knows this. I will always love you. Rest eternally.